A few thoughts on Star Wars that crossed my mind while trying desperately to drift off to a blissful night’s sleep…

Okay, take this Darth Vader fellow. He’s strangled a few Admirals in his time. I kinda wonder if he ever mastered the ability to choke his chicken without having to take off his dungarees. That would be an impressive use of the force.

Also, do you think Luke had lurid thoughts about Leah during those many years prior to learning she was his twin sister? I mean, I’m sure he must have, as they practically made out like two hornified high-schoolers during A New Hope. Did he ever take care of business while imagining her in her gold skivvies? Did he ever take care of business while imagining her in her gold skivvies and making out with Jabba the Hutt? And did he feel bad once he knew he was lusting after his sister all that time? Did he feel even worse about fantasizing about Jabba?

And what kind of slug-like galactic crime overlord gets his jollies out of throwing his enemies into a giant vagina buried out in the middle of the desert where apparently they were to endure a thousand years of suffering?

And would that really be that bad compared to, say, being stuck three hours in a One Direction concert?

Yes, these are the thoughts that drift through my head while trying to fall asleep….

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